So tomorrow, October 4th, is Sid’s 7th Birthday.

Since he reads the blog, I can’t comment exactly on what we have planned, but rest assured his mind will be blown.

“I’m getting SEVEN Birthday cakes, right?” 

This upcoming weekend is actually extremely exciting for all of us! Not only will we still be celebrating Sid’s Birthday (he insists we celebrate for at least 1 week), his 1000 Pugs photo shoot is on Sunday. We’re super excited to meet a whole bunch of you pugs, pug people, and pug bloggers “in the fur” as Sid would put it. Not only that, but we’ve got a SPECIAL GUEST (of the pug variety) staying with us next week.

To prepare for all the excitement, we’ve been encouraging Sid to get lots of rest.

Ermagersh, guys.  So, I’ve been sitting up here at the new PLANET COOL SID / Pug Slope Headquarters, and it’s been fine and everything, but I’m way too far away from Timothy Buttons’ house now for daily play dates, and it’s been too hot and mugg-tastic to meet her in the park, so I’ve had to be content with just visiting her Tumblr once a day and reminiscing about our days in the South Slope.

I mean, she came up here to the new HQ that one day, and I showed off my couch climbing skillz and I didn’t even need a confidence shirt (hey, Weasley – lookin’ good, little man!), but I’m so mad at myself because I didn’t even, like, pay attention to her or listen to her while she was blabberin’ away about whatever ladies blab about because I just wanted to show off my mad skillz and pose for pictures.  At the old HQ, she used to come over all the time, so I guess I may have taken her presence for granted.

Wearing my inner confidence shirt.  Oh, and Timothy’s there on the right.

BUT THEN I FOUND SOMETHING OUT THAT MADE ME VERY CONFUSED.

I went to go look at Timothy’s Tumblr today on Mom’s computer, and Mom had left her iPhoto open, and there were all of these NEW photos with Timothy Buttons and I don’t remember being at any of these photo sessions which means MY MOM has been hanging out with MY LADY without MY KNOWLEDGE!!

Apparently she walks all the way down to T-Buttzville WITHOUT ME three (3!) times a week, and they talk about me or look at pictures of me or make fun of me or plan pranks they’re going to play on me or WHATEVER.  I mean, maybe they don’t even talk about me at all, but that’s too horrible to even think about, because if they’re not talking about me, then who or what are they talking about??!  WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITHOUT ME?!

Here’s what I can gather from the photos:

THEY GO SNIFFING IN THE PARK!?@!

THEY HAVE JIMMY CONTESTS!!?@#!

THEY DRESS UP LIKE EDGAR WINTER!!!?@!

THEY FEED EACH OTHER BACON!!!@?@#

Ahem…I apologize for raising my voice…it’s just…BACON?!?!!!!!!?!REALLY?!!?!

I mean, I guess it’s good that my mom and my lady get along, but I’m not sure how I feel about this…

So, in the midst of moving into our new headquarters, the Pug Slope team traveled upstate for a long weekend in the Thousand Islands region of the St. Lawrence River with Sid’s Grammy Grace, Great Grammy Nanny, Uncle Jay, and Aunt Chiho.

Did you know that they allow pugs to go on boat tours?  Neither did we!  But as soon as we found out, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to bring Sid on a tour of the mighty St. Lawrence.  Sid insisted on wearing his most nautical apparel, and as we were unpacking after the trip, I discovered that he had kept a “Captain’s Log” of this adventure…

June 23rd, 2012. 1400 hours.  Pops, my first mate, holds me aloft while we wait in line at the port.   From my elevated vantage point, I see that the St. Lawrence river is approx. 3.5 meters above its average level for this time of year. The sun is in my eyes.  Pops did not pack my sunglasses.  Once again consider replacing Pops with a better first mate, but then notice how well our shirts coordinate and remember that he fed me breakfast.

June 23rd, 2012. 1410. On the docks, approaching the gangplank which will lead me onto the vessel, I see that rain is beginning to fall onto the surface of the river.  Since I still don’t buy this whole “depth” thing, I try to walk onto the river.  Pops stops me.  Not sure how I feel about that.

June 23rd, 2012. 1420. After exploring the three decks of this vessel, I’ve determined that deck two – home of the Snack Galley – is the deck on which I’d like to travel.  Popcorn crumbs from earlier excursions line the carpet throughout this awesome deck.  Pops, however, insists on carrying me to the open-air third deck.  I wriggle violently in an attempt to escape back to the popcorn deck, but Pops’s arms are ropey and strong.  Definitely need a new first mate.  Preferably one who’s weak with scurvy.

June 23rd, 2012. 1445.  Escaped Pops’s grip, but was captured by Mom before making it to the popcorn deck.  Oh, yeah – Mom’s here. Mom proceeded to act all mommish.  Asked Mom to please stop embarrassing me while I’m captaining a ship.

June 23rd, 2012.  1532.  Successfully steered ship towards Boldt Castle, only to find out upon disembarking that dogs aren’t allowed on the island.  Attempted to explain to the natives that I’m not a dog, I’m a PUG, but they didn’t care. Tried to explain to the natives that I’m an Internet celebrity, but they didn’t care.  Explained to the natives that I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THIS HERE VESSEL and then ordered them to LET ME ONTO THE ISLAND OR ELSE THEY’D WALK THE PLANK, and they just laughed and scratched my ears.  Posed for a photo with Mom on the top deck instead.  (Still no popcorn)

June 23rd, 2012. 1540.  Back on the open waters.  Mom finally let me stand on the top deck as long as I promised not to jump ship.  Discovered that tongue can be used as a navigational tool.  The wind was traveling south-south-east at 15 knots per hour.  Asked Pops to re-calculate our route using this newly-gained information, but he drew something stupid in his sketchbook instead.  Decided to put ad for new first mate on Craigslist as soon as we were back on land.

June 23rd, 2012. 1630.  Heading back to shore.  Navigating through calm waters.  Still no popcorn.

June 23rd, 2012. 1645.  Mom tells Pops that she needs to use the loo.  Pops says he does too.  The loo is located on deck two…

June 23rd, 2012. 1650.  POPCORN CRUMBS CARPET MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!1!111!!!!

June 23rd, 2012.  1700.  Swabbed deck two with my tongue.  Delicious.

Okay, guys, this one’s gonna be quick ’cause my Timothy Buttons is chillin’ in the other room and she gets all grumpy when I don’t give her enough attention, even though today’s Sid Pick’s are all about HER and how she’s the APPLE of my EYE, which, by the way, is the best thing you could EVER call someone because apples are the best tasting fruit, and eyes are the things that allow you to see apples, so DUH, that means she, she – omgIambeingdistractedbyanactualapple–

AHEM – MY NAME IS MEESTER SID AND I THEENK TIMOTHY EES BEE-A-YOU-TEE-FULL TO BEE-HOLD, THA LUBLIEST LAIDEE IN ALLSA BROOKLYNNE, AND I THEENK THIS BLOG SHULD BE ALLS-ABOUTS THE LAIDEE TIMOTHY BUTTONS ALLS-OF-DA TIMES! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-DEE-DA-LA-LA-

DOOBEE-DOOBEE-DOO–LA-LA – – ACK!

(Hey, guys – Jenn here.  I took a break from packing and found Sid munching on an mysteriously obtained apple, and T-Buttz typing away on the laptop, creating a PLANET PRETTY TIMOTHY masthead…

…I swear, you turn your back for one second…)

Okay, guys, Mom says I can’t let Timothy distract me with apples or use the Photoshop until I get today’s Sid Picks up on the blog, so here we go:

First up, there’s Timothy’s first appearance on Pug Slope.  This was before she was my girlfriend, when I secretly hoped and wished she’d be my girlfriend but worried she wouldn’t want to date me since she was all tough and I’m more cool than tough.

Then there’s this post from the first time she came over to my house and we made a really awesome video.

Then there’s this post where we went swimming in the bathtub together and then we went to the park and it was awesome.

I love her.

OH MY PUG, I’M BACK AGAIN.

And all it took was me forging a letter from the Pug Slope Headquarter’s landlord saying that the rent was going up a bazillion dollars a month, and then convincing Mom and Dad to just find a new headquarters rather than negotiate with “the landlord,” and then making a deal with some guy on the Internet to rent Mom and Dad a slightly better apartment that’s only a half a bazillion dollars more than our current place, BUT MY MASTER PLAN WORKED.  Now they’re all occupied with packing all the stupid stuff in the house that you can’t even eat (WHO CARES ABOUT BOOKS?!?) into stupid empty boxes, and I AM ONCE AGAIN THE MASTER OF THE BLOG.

BEHOLD, the secret lair from which I write this post:

BWAAHAHAHAHA!

Serves them right.  Mom and Dad totally promised I’d get a weekly Planet Cool Sid post back when they overturned the actual PLANET COOL SID, and they totally didn’t follow through on their end of the bargain.  I did one AWESOME video, and then what?  Nothing!

But, whatever, I’m here now.  I don’t really have a lot of new stuff to say because my parents are all busy packing for this totally necessary (wink-wink) move instead of helping me do the awesome things that I normally do to get all my great blog material, so I’m gonna repost some of my favorite posts that they wrote from way back when.

My first pick: THE VERY FIRST PUG SLOPE POST EVER!!!!

(For those of you who need help with the Internet (cough, Grammy Grace, cough), you can click on “THE VERY FIRST PUG SLOPE POST EVER!!!” and it will take you to the very first Pug Slope post ever. I LOVE YOU, GRAMMY GRACE!)

Awesomely titled, “Sid is Cool,” this was the very first post my dad ever put up on the blog. I picked this post for a few reasons:

1)  I think I look pretty cool and confident in that photo.  Obviously.

2) The whole post is about how cool I am, AND I DIDN’T EVEN WRITE IT!!

3) Dad let me put a comment up there (under the secret code name “admin”) and then we got another comment FROM A VAMPIRE! (Don’t be scared, we know him)

4) Seriously, it’s called “Sid is Cool.”

COOL SID’S BACK, ALRIGHT!

Last weekend, I got to meet the pugrent of one of our faithful pug slope commenters, Socrates – a fellow Brooklyn-ite. Or Brooklonian. Brooklynian? Whatever.

Anyway, the reason for the meet-up was two-fold: (1) so that I could deliver the portrait of her fine gentle-pug to her, and  (2) for an in-the-fur meeting of two great philisophical minds – Socrates & Siddhartha. Here’s the portrait of Socrates:

Unfortunately, we’ll never know what forms of deeper understanding or insight Socrates and Siddhartha may have come up with because Carlos got in the way. Or was it his cousin, Carl, Jr.? Since Sid’s muzzle wart entourage are contagious (only for other dogs that have never been exposed), Socrates had to stay home this time. But his mom still wanted to meet Sid (who doesn’t, right?!).

Not only was Socrates’ mom super nice and as pug-obsessed as we are, but she was kind enough to bring a toy and some yummy treats for Sid (and for us, too!). One of these gifts in particular made Sid weak in the knees – a piece of real honest-to-goodness DEER ANTLER! What’s particularly cool about this special treat is that the antlers are something that the deer shed naturally each year, so no animals were harmed in its making!

After so many attempts to obtain human snacks from high places, Sid has developed amazing dexterity with his paws. He pretty much uses his dew claw like a thumb (I think that’s how he was able to hack our computer and take over the blog last month!). Lucky for us, that day he was only using his amazing reaching ability to position the antler for the maximum chewability angle.

After an hour of chew-time, he was knackered. But of course he wouldn’t let the antler out of his sight.

“I keep all my prized possessions under my head. And then I cry a little.”

Thank you to Socrates’ mom for such fantastic treats! Sid said he wants to move out of our place and get a two-bedroom with Socrates up in the North Slope.

Okay, so the other day this tiny box arrived at the main command outpost of PLANET COOL SID (Hey, guys.  It’s Jenn.  He means the Pug Slope Headquarters.  Sigh…) and the tiny box was all like, “You!  Yeah, you!  I’m talkin’ to YOU, flat face!  I’m not gonna let you sniff around on top of the space food preparation unit (he’s referring to the kitchen island…) anymore because I’m a tiny box and I’M GOING TO TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE,” and I was all like, “Oh, yeah?  OH YEAH? Let me show YOU who’s boss!” and then there was an EPIC SPACE BATTLE in which I was Han Solo and the tiny box was Pizza the Hut (Jenn again…I tried explaining to him that Star Wars and Spaceballs are not the same movie… ) and I made my mom videotape it with her iPad, but then when I wanted to put it on YouTube she was all like, “Come on, Sid, I gotta do work work work on my laptop right now.  I don’t have time for this silliness,” and I was all like, “But I’ll give you a back rub” (…???!?!…) and then she was all like, “No, don’t worry about it.  Just make sure you eat these treats because putting videos on YouTube is much harder work than the work that your daddy and I do.  We love you SO MUCH and just want to make sure you are NEVER EVER EVER HUNGRY,” and I was all like, “Thanks, Mom,” and then I put the video up on YouTube: