Ten Minutes
How much trouble can a pug get into in ten minutes?
Ohhhh, you’d be surprised.
Does this look like the face of guilt? Well, it should.
Let me back up a bit. I was feeling a little thirsty yesterday evening, so I ran out to the corner store to grab a soda. Jenn was out of the house, so I left Sid home alone. I was gone for about ten minutes and this is what I came home to.
The destroyed package wasn’t neatly displayed on our counter, though. It was on the floor of the bedroom, and our little rug was dappled with slightly-chewed morsels of cookie and gobs of cream filling mashed into the fibers.
This was not good on many levels.
First – I don’t know how many Newman’s Ginger-O’s a pug is supposed to eat in one sitting, but this definitely seemed larger than the recommended portion size. Second – Jenn specifically bought these cookies for herself because I, Brian, have this problem where I end up eating all the cookies before she has a chance to even eat one. Well, at least that won’t be an issue this time. And Third – the cookies were stored up on shelf #4 which Sid has never gotten into before. We always kept some food/produce up there because we figured it was beyond his reach. I guess we now have to keep anything edible on the top shelf. Thanks, dude.
Luckily the local emergency vet (who probably know us by name at this point) said our little gurgitator should be ok since there were no toxic ingredients in the cookies (Thank you, Paul Newman!).
Anyway – I hope you’re happy, fatso.
P.S. Now, don’t you pugs out there reading this get any ideas! Sid did get a severe “talking to” and we may have to take away his blog commenting privileges.
August 23rd, 2011 at 9:07 am
Poor Sid, are you sure you aren’t a toddler in pug disguise? I bet those cookies were good, nom, nom. The good news is that now mom & dad have to buy more xoxo
August 23rd, 2011 at 9:56 am
Sid! I’m here for you buddy. Don’t worry, I know you were framed! Your dad gave himself away…”I have a problem eating all the cookies” and “Sid can’t get to the shelf”… As soon as I figure out how to use my mom’s cell, I’m calling the authorities. They are obviously starving you and keeping all the good stuff for themselves! You’ll come live with me, and I’ll tell you all about this thing called lunch. Stay strong, Sid. I’ll be in touch…
Love,
Payton
August 23rd, 2011 at 10:30 am
Oooh dear-I bet those cookies where tasty though.
By the way great blog, a long time ago when Tubby and Norbert where pups we used to live in Bay Ridge Brooklyn
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:33 am
Pssssssssst, Sid. You don’t look fat–you look HAPPY. *secret high five*
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:33 am
Look, sometimes it is just worth it!! Have no remorse dear friend. They should be impressed your pug butt could jump so high. I have a certain penchant for ginger snaps myself. Know any way to turn the pantry handle??
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Ouch Sid!!!! This is a scathing indictment! You see, the trick is to HIDE THE EVIDENCE (preferably near the dreaded sisteroid Sunshine the Cat) and put on your most innocentest face ever. Dude, you not only SMILED with an insane look in your eyes BUT you LEFT THE WRAPPER in plain sight. I am catching the next flying thingy to the East Coast to teach you a little about FILCHING without being FINGERED for the crime.
Love Noodles
PS The sun is out today and it is supposed to be in high 80s. Woohoo!!!! It is only gonna last 1 day tho.
August 23rd, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Ugh…Hey, everybody. I know my mom and dad said I was going to lose my commenting privileges for eating all of Mom’s special cookies, but now they say that I HAVE to post a comment and share with you all the supposed “consequences” that supposedly “resulted” from the BEST TEN MINUTES OF MY LIFE.
OH, GROAN. So, all day today my business-end has been making really loud noises and emitting smells so stinky that Mom had to open a window. I’m so stuffed and bubbly that all I want to do is lay on the human bed with my butt on Mom’s pillow and make stinky noises from my back-end. And I got to do that for a while when Mom was busy working, but I guess she can still smell smells when she has her headphones on and then she noticed where the smells were coming from and SHE MADE ME MOVE MY BUT OFF HER PILLOW! And then when the stinks and sounds became more frequent, she made me move off of the human bed altogether, so now I’m on the floor. WHATEVER.
So, the ‘rents claim that this is happening because of my kick-butt cookie coup, and that’s what I’m supposed to tell you right now. But, between you and me, I’ve seen Dad eat an entire package of Mom’s cookies before, and he’s TOTALLY FINE the next day. So, I’m pretty convinced that this stink situation has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO with those awesome, awesome cookies and they’re just using the cookies as a SCAPEGOAT so that Mom won’t freak out about feeling like her cookies aren’t safe around Dad and me.
But, Noodles, I’m gonna keep your tips in mind when Mom finally brings home a new box of ginger cookies, and I’m gonna do my best to be all COVERT-OPS, but it’s so hard to keep your wits about you when you’re all FIRED UP in the moment. If only I had a partner in crime…
August 23rd, 2011 at 3:58 pm
Hey Sid I was wondering if you hid some cookies for later. I like to do that. I hide some under my pillow and eat it when no one is around. heehee
Mochi
August 23rd, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Glad that Sid is feeling better! Wish we could say the same for Winston who is over at VERG. We thought he had gotten into a houseplant over the weekend, but now after many tests and lots of $$$, they want to take an xray to rule out pneumonia. Yikes. Think good thoughts for little Winston!