Do you try to play by the rules but never get what you want? Are you frustrated when you do what “the man” tells you but are never rewarded for it? …well then why not CHANGE THE GAME!

I, Siddhartha Lamont, am planning to share my industry secrets with all you fellow pugs and non-pug dogs out there that want to “get theirs”, in my brand new segment…

Today’s installment: “A Little Tipping Goes a Long Way”

Does the following sound like a common situation for you? It’s between-meal time, so of course you’re like STARVING, and your human has the audacity to sit down at the table and start eating something. Ever the obedient companion, you park your keiser next to them and sit, calmly and politely, as you’ve been instructed.

Despite this dazzling display of your mastery of the sit command, your human mindlessly chows down on their grub paying you no mind. You bark. Your human rudely shushes you. What is a pug to do in this situation?

Well, my friends, all it takes is a little tip.

I’m not talking about advice…I mean a LITERAL TIP…of your cute little perfectly-round pug cranium. Like so:

No human can resist this maneuver. It’s a proven fact. In fact, I just proved it right now while you were busy reading this article and guess what – I’m 2 baby carrots fatter now. BOO-YA!

Did I just blow your mind? Why yes, I did. Sorry, here’s some paper towel to clean up the mess.

Since the summer solstice occurred this past weekend, along with the superb Supermoon, Sid and I felt it was time for a new masthead for summer.

The previous masthead photo had been taken when it was like 10 degrees outside and Sid had been wearing no less than 2 layers of fleece. It was definitely time for a change.

We swung over to the park for a little summer masthead photo session.

Ever the seasoned professional, Sid nailed the poses right away and we were back home in no time. As per his contract, Sid received three belly rubs and one Wigzi ball stuffed with treats and peanut butter. Although now it seems he wants to renegotiate in order to include refills.

“Yo! I need a refill!”

Well, the 2-day bear-hunt has ended on a good note. Thank you for all your well wishes during the exhaustive search.

Things got confusing mid-way through the hunt because Sid actually has THREE bears. The one he was looking for is the one in the middle (confusing, right?!):

Sid was very relieved to find this particular bear. It had taken him months of chewing it, soaking it with saliva, and patiently allowing it to dry out in order to get this little bear to its state of “crusty perfection”.

In a show of his appreciation for my role in the search party, Sid was kind enough to pick up all his toys off the floor and put them back into his toy basket.

Ok, I lied. I did that part.

In reality, this is what he did immediately after I had put away all his toys:

(Yes, the little turd is LAUGHING IN MY FACE!)

Have you ever had one of “those days”?

Specifically one of those days WHEN YOU CAN’T FIND THE TOY YOU WANT RIGHT AT THE EXACT MOMENT YOU WANT IT?

You search high, you search low, you practically get lost in your toy bin and yet, even after having pulled every single toy from its hiding spot, this ONE TOY is nowhere to be found.

Hrmmmm…

If you happen to come across a light brown mini plush bear with a non-functioning squeaker, please let me know.

People, Sid has come down with a severe case of Beaver Fever.

Um, no, not BIEBER FEVER, I said BEAVER FEVER.

Yes, BEAVER FEVER. Wait, no, not that kind.

I meant something more like THIS:

I’m not sure there is a cure for this condition (though Sid doesn’t seem to mind one bit).

Has anyone else come down with a case of B.F.?

I’m not sure if it was in response to Sid’s last post, but the weather certainly seems to have fixed itself this week. It’s been nice and cool – perfect weather for the flat-faced. We’ve been able to get over to the park every day. While this means the flow of Sid’s “pity toys” has stopped, I think he’s genuinely excited to go to the park. In fact, whenever we leave the apartment now, he only lets me turn in one direction – TOWARD THE PARK.

We’ve been meeting a bunch of new friends there – both the four-legged and two-legged variety. Sid’s even reached out of his comfort zone and has been interacting with non-pugs – including a “Tree Walking Coonhound”. Yeah, I know it sounds like I just made that up but it really is an actual dog breed!

Hopefully this weekend we’ll get a chance to take some photos of Sid hanging out with some of his pals. That is of course if he ever decides to get out of bed.

Sid’s impression of a cashew nut.

Hey friends!

I think the weather may be broken. If it’s not totally broken, it’s definitely confused – or maybe just indecisive. It’s like when you root around in your toy bin and keep pulling out different toys. One minute you want the tiny plush froggie, then you see the hide-a-squirrel and must have it immediately. Then like two minutes later you crave that delicious deer antler. Yeah, so that’s what the weather’s been doing – first it’s sweltering hot, then grey and rainy, then sunny and beautiful for 20 minutes, then mega-thunderstorms roll in (My voice is raspy from all the barking I had to do during the most recent storm). Now it’s just cold. So see what I mean, IN-DE-CI-SIVE.

However – there is a SWEET side-effect when the weather turns fickle. Well, two actually. First, my walks have been shortened to like fifteen minutes each. This is because we could get caught in a thunderstorm any minute. I know sometimes I like walks but on the whole, but sometimes my dad goes a little crazy and takes me on his “errands”. Um, sorry, Dad, but I really don’t want to walk with you all the way to the CVS to get toilet paper. The second side-effect is that when I have to be cooped up due to inclement weather, my dad feels bad so he goes into the new toy stash and pulls out something fuzzy and squeeky and oh-so-irresistable. So, thank you, weather for being confused or indecisive or totally broken this past week. Now, back to my toy thrashing.