OMG you guys my Moms is so EMBARRASSING. Like, look at her! All cuddly and smothering with her eyes all closed and I THINK SHE IS INHALING MY EAR SMELLS. Doesn’t she know that I’m an ADULT now! JEEZ LOUISE, MOM!
Like, it’s okay when my one true love Miss Timothy Buttons inhales my ear smells. In fact, I wish she’d do it more often. I inhale Timothy’s ear smells ALL THE TIME but when I ask T-Buttz to inhale my ear smells she’s always like “I’M A BUSY LADY, SIDDHARTHA” and then she goes and chases after her stupid laser pointer or something and when I REMIND her that the laser pointer ain’t gonna tuck her in at night she’s all like “I’M A 21ST CENTURY WOMAN! I CAN TUCK MYSELF IN!” and before I can say anything back she runs into the other room and burrows under a blanket so I just take a deep breath and let her have her space but then, like, fifteen minutes later, after I’ve moved on and started chewin’ on my antler, I suddenly feel her absurdly long tongue floppin’ against the side of my head and and her pretty, pretty muzzle pressed right up against my ear and then I hear her nose take a deep breath…and when she’s done inhaling my ear smells I say, “Timothy Buttons, you complete me.”
“A Timothy Buttons by any other name would smell as sweet.”
OMG, you guys, I just did a photo-shoot for my upcoming memoir, Profiles in Flap-Flippage by Sir Siddhartha Lamont Pug, the King of Planet Cool Sid and the Only Sane Mammal Living at the Pug Slope Headquarters, who rose to Staggering Heights using only the Power of his Flippable Muzzle Flaps and Who Really Should be Eating Right Now, I mean, Really, People, Get this Pug Some Food CAN’T YOU TELL HE’S STARVING; forward by Miss Timothy Buttons.
Ermagersh, guys. So, I’ve been sitting up here at the new PLANET COOL SID / Pug Slope Headquarters, and it’s been fine and everything, but I’m way too far away from Timothy Buttons’ house now for daily play dates, and it’s been too hot and mugg-tastic to meet her in the park, so I’ve had to be content with just visiting her Tumblr once a day and reminiscing about our days in the South Slope.
I mean, she came up here to the new HQ that one day, and I showed off my couch climbing skillz and I didn’t even need a confidence shirt (hey, Weasley – lookin’ good, little man!), but I’m so mad at myself because I didn’t even, like, pay attention to her or listen to her while she was blabberin’ away about whatever ladies blab about because I just wanted to show off my mad skillz and pose for pictures. At the old HQ, she used to come over all the time, so I guess I may have taken her presence for granted.
Wearing my inner confidence shirt. Oh, and Timothy’s there on the right.
BUT THEN I FOUND SOMETHING OUT THAT MADE ME VERY CONFUSED.
I went to go look at Timothy’s Tumblr today on Mom’s computer, and Mom had left her iPhoto open, and there were all of these NEW photos with Timothy Buttons and I don’t remember being at any of these photo sessions which means MY MOM has been hanging out with MY LADY without MY KNOWLEDGE!!
Apparently she walks all the way down to T-Buttzville WITHOUT ME three (3!) times a week, and they talk about me or look at pictures of me or make fun of me or plan pranks they’re going to play on me or WHATEVER. I mean, maybe they don’t even talk about me at all, but that’s too horrible to even think about, because if they’re not talking about me, then who or what are they talking about??! WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITHOUT ME?!
Like the brave trooper that he is, Sid survived another full day at the vet yesterday, this time to see the Dermotologist for a full skin allergy test. This makes for two full days this week at the vet which wasn’t fun for anyone (esp. our flat-faced wonder). He was happy to return home and find solace in his bolster.
As you probably noticed, there is a patch shaved on Sid’s left side where they performed the skin allergy test. The little dots are Sharpie marks indicating where the various allergens were injected. We’ve dubbed this his “Control Panel”.
As you may have guessed, our bubble dog tested high for allergies to many common things: various grasses, trees, pollen, dust mites, fleas, flys, mold, sheep wool, and yeast – his OWN yeast in fact. So basically Sid is allergic to himself. Poor little dude.
Based on the various items Sid is allergic to, the dermotologist will put together a customized allergy shot that Sid will be getting twice a week. His own system will hopefully build up immunity to the various allergens which should desensitize him and basically not make him as allergic to mother nature (and himself) as he is right now. Unfortunately, this process can take anywhere from 3 to 12 months and even then there’s still a chance that the allergy shots won’t help him at all. We’re keeping all our fingers, toes, paws, and tails crossed (or “curled” I suppose) that he responds well to the allergy shots and our little dude will be able to get off the prednisolone train ASAP.
While we’re waiting for the allergy shots to kick in, we’re planning to try some various things to keep his itchiness in check. The main thing is an anti-yeast medication called Fluconazole. The dermatologist said some dogs with yeast allergies have responded really well to it. We also may try some other human drugs such as Zyrtec or Allegra (we’ve tried Benadryl in the past but that doesn’t appear to help him at all).
Thank you all for your positive juju and prayers this week. I know they certainly helped keep our spirits up and allowed Sid to make it through all these tests successfully. The results came back from the papillomas they removed on Monday and the good news is they are just normal papillomas and not the “C” word. Whew!
This weekend, Sid’s getting rewarded by having a sleepover party with Miss Timothy Buttons. I heard rumors that she’ll be wearing her new party dress.
Okay, guys, this one’s gonna be quick ’cause my Timothy Buttons is chillin’ in the other room and she gets all grumpy when I don’t give her enough attention, even though today’s Sid Pick’s are all about HER and how she’s the APPLE of my EYE, which, by the way, is the best thing you could EVER call someone because apples are the best tasting fruit, and eyes are the things that allow you to see apples, so DUH, that means she, she – omgIambeingdistractedbyanactualapple–
AHEM – MY NAME IS MEESTER SID AND I THEENK TIMOTHY EESBEE-A-YOU-TEE-FULL TO BEE-HOLD, THA LUBLIEST LAIDEE IN ALLSA BROOKLYNNE, AND I THEENK THIS BLOG SHULD BE ALLS-ABOUTS THE LAIDEE TIMOTHY BUTTONS ALLS-OF-DA TIMES! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-DEE-DA-LA-LA-
DOOBEE-DOOBEE-DOO–LA-LA – – ACK!
(Hey, guys – Jenn here. I took a break from packing and found Sid munching on an mysteriously obtained apple, and T-Buttz typing away on the laptop, creating a PLANET PRETTY TIMOTHY masthead…
…I swear, you turn your back for one second…)
Okay, guys, Mom says I can’t let Timothy distract me with apples or use the Photoshop until I get today’s Sid Picks up on the blog, so here we go:
First up, there’s Timothy’s first appearance on Pug Slope. This was before she was my girlfriend, when I secretly hoped and wished she’d be my girlfriend but worried she wouldn’t want to date me since she was all tough and I’m more cool than tough.
Then there’s this post from the first time she came over to my house and we made a really awesome video.
Then there’s this post where we went swimming in the bathtub together and then we went to the park and it was awesome.
(Consider this a warning – things are about to get nasty up in here!)
Yesterday morning Sid tipped his giant face-wart Carl up towards me, looked me in the eye, and yelled, “Enough is enough!”
Lucky for Sid, I whole-heartedly agreed. After two months of rapid growth, we decided that Carl was anglin’ to take over Sid’s face and HE NEEDED TO BE STOPPED. I mean, seriously, it was getting to the point where Sid was accidentally chomping on Carl whenever he’d yawn. Also, we’ve been on a bit of an X-Files binge here at the Pug Slope Headquarters, and I was starting to have nightmares in which Carl sprouted legs and became a sentient being of extra-terrestrial origins intent on wreaking havoc in our lives.
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
The amazing Dr. Quim at Prospect Park Animal Clinic was able to fit us in for a wart excision later that afternoon. Now, as you know, Sid is a frequent visitor to the vet. Unfortunately, that means that Sid now knows that the vet’s office is not a fun place to be.
He stared at that door for our entire time in the waiting room, as though if he were to look away, for even a second, he’d miss his one opportunity to escape.
Once we got into the exam room, Sid literally pulled out all the punches – pushing, pulling, jerking, and flailing about while the vet and his assistant tried to get a good look at Carl. Sid was so wound up that we decided that the only way to proceed was to give him a mild sedative to calm him down.
So Sid was given the sedative, and we were left alone in the exam room while we waited for it to kick in.
Sid spent the next 15 minutes pacing rapidly in a tight figure-eight formation around my chair.
The assistant eventually came back in to check on us, and upon seeing Sid’s continued hyperactivity, she turned the lights down in the room and pressed a button on a small stereo in the corner.
The opening notes of Brahm’s Lullaby began playing. Then, without warning, the voice of Celine Dion wafted about the room.
Sid continued to pace frantically, while I pondered the life decisions that led to me to be in a dark room with a wart-faced, hyperactive pug, listening to Celine Dione sing lullabies. Whatever decisions they were, they were obviously the right ones.
By the end of the song, I found myself pacing around the room, but Sid was in my arms, being bounced like a baby, his eyes set in an unfocused gaze, his tongue hanging from his mouth, Timothy-Buttons-style.
It was time.
Dr. Quim was masterful with his surgical tweezers and scissors. With a quick pop, Carl was off of Sid’s face, severed from his life-source before he could wreak havoc on humanity.
Why, yes, I did ask if I could take a photo of Carl while the vet was busy cauterizing Sid’s wound. YOU DON’T PASS UP AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS. Ask Brian about my wisdom teeth sometime…
With his wound cauterized, Sid was ready to head home! Dr. Quim said the sedative would take a while to wear off, but Sid did a great job walking home. He seemed a little out of it, but he walked the whole six blocks like it was no big deal.
Until we got to the stoop. I think that’s when the sedatives really kicked in.
I carried him up all of the stairs and put him down as soon as we got inside our apartment. Rather than jumping into his normal post-walk routine of spinning in circles while yelping for treats and pawing frantically at the food bin that we keep near the door, he just stood there, swaying, until he ended up leaning pathetically against the bin. He began snoring.
I carried the poor guy to the couch. I was hoping he’d just go to bed, but he seemed pretty determined to stay awake. Thank the blog gods that my cell phone was right in my back pocket, because as soon as I set him on the couch, this happened:
OMG SID YOU’RE BREAKIN’ MY HEART!!!!!
That position that he flopped into? He stayed that way for a good two hours.
Eventually I moved him to his bed. At one point, he stood up like he had a plan, took one step, and then immediately gave up:
That became his 8pm-9pm napping position.
From there, he again stood up like he had a plan, walked to the middle of the room, and…
I’ve got four more minutes of that, if you want to see it sometime.
At that point, I officially cancelled all of my evening plans so I could keep an eye on him. I was worried he’d decide he was thirsty, walk over to his water bowl, and then zonk out again, and I’d come home after a fun night out to find him face down in an inch and a half of water. The irrational fears concocted by my imagination stop me from doing a lot of things.
That didn’t even come close to happening, of course, and the sedative finally began to wear off around midnight, just when it was time for the rest of the world to go to sleep. I left a light on so Sid could finally admire his Carl-free face.
PUG SLOPE chronicles the adventures of a pug named Sid as he navigates his way through the world. He was born and raised in Los Angeles, California, started the blog in Park Slope, Brooklyn, and is currently calling Chicago, Illinois his home.
