Yesterday some of you wondered how a “macho” pug like Sid would feel about his love for a pink horse named Derpy going public.  Well, somebody must’ve caught on to the fact that his private musings were being shared with the world.  Apparently Sid’s Journal is now VERY well hidden.  I can’t find it anywhere, but I’m not giving up.

I did notice something odd, though, when I woke up this morning.  A new video was being uploaded to the PugSlope YouTube account with the title “Sid the Pug and Derpy Pony.”  Unfortunately I couldn’t view it while it was uploading, so while Brian took Sid out for his morning walk, I shuffled through the papers on my desk to see if I could find any clues as to its content.  I found the following note:

I finally find my one true toy-mate and all they post on my blog is a stupid photo of me with my tongue hanging out? I let them record twenty-two minutes of footage the other night while I was playing with Derpy.  It was great stuff!  Golden!  Why has nobody edited that footage down into a short video that captures the essence of Derpy’s awesome awesomeness and my awesome manliness? Mom went to film school, for Pete’s sake!  Do I have to do everything around here?  Geesh!

“Okay, Focus, Sid.” Thanks, Derpy. (Hahaha, like Derpy can talk!)

First things first: Find appropriate song. Catchy but not too obvious.  Also not too stupid. Nothing stupid.  Like, when I told Timothy about Derpy she started singing that Ginuwine song “Come on and let’s do it, ride it, my pony,” which is apparently one of those songs that pugs her age dance to in the clubs and I don’t want to be associated with such frivolity because it’s dumb and Derpy deserves better, like something timeless and classic that speaks to the long road ahead of us and I know there’s that song about Wild Horses by those Rolling Stones guys who Mom plays all the time and I know everybody says I’ve only just met Derpy but sometimes I truly feel in my heart about Derpy the way that song makes me feel in my heart when I hear it.  But, that feeling I feel when I hear that song is a bittersweet longing for a future in which Derpy and I never part, a future that is impossible to attain because all things in this world must someday end, and thus the knowledge of that inevitable end must cloud the happiness of the now like the thin layer of gritty smog between my hometown of Los Angeles and the bring, blue sky, and that’s not how I want people to feel when they see the video of me and Derpy because I want them to only feel the joy and the excitement of our love as it exists today, not the unavoidable heartbreak that resides in the future.  Ah!  Here we go: an obscure Chubby Checker track called “Pony Time” that sounds exactly like “The Twist.”  Done and done. 

Step two: Edit the video so it goes really well with the music.  DUH.

Step three:  Step three should be “eat treats” but those bozos are still sleeping.  WHY IS NOBODY FEEDING ME??????  

Intriguing, right?!  And, guess what?!  The video’s finally online:

Sid had his lady-friend, Miss Timothy Buttons, over to the Pug Slope Headquarters for a play date yesterday afternoon.  The weather was so nice outside, they both wanted to go swimming at the Prospect Park dog beach.  Unfortunately, I was taught that you don’t go swimming before Memorial Day (I have no idea where my mom came up with that one), so Sid and T-Buttz had to settle for the “beach” in our bathroom.

This deception compromise was a win-win for everybody, because these pugs were kinda ripe.  And, really, is the bath all that different than the beach?

Sid loves baths so he was on board right away, exclaiming over and over that he finds the beach to be sooooo relaxing, but by the time the suds were applied, I could tell that Timothy Buttons was getting suspicious.

Luckily, by the time she brought up the fact that her parents don’t normally slather her fur with conditioner at the beach, the official “bath time” was over and “post-bath-beach CRAZY time” had begun:

Phew!

Once we got the post-bath ya-yas out of everybody’s system, Sid and T-Buttz were ready for some strollin’ in the park.  Gotta show off those squeaky-clean coats!

Thank you, everybody, for all the good juju!  It’ll be a few more days before we get the test results from the vet, but it’s so good to know that Sid’s got friends like you out there supporting him.

In the meantime, how ’bout we all sit back and enjoy the antics of Sid and his boo, Timothy Buttons, in a video we like to call:

“The Desperation of Miss Timothy: A Lady’s Bid for the Attention of her True Love, Sid”

Oh, and speaking of Miss Timothy, look who’s hanging out on the set of Rachel Ray’s daytime talk show today:

(Still trying to locate T-Buttz in that second photo?  Look for the glowing, beady eyes on the kitchen island!)

Behold, a sunny afternoon stroll in Prospect Park during which Sid confronts the fact that mortifying public displays of affection are part and parcel of dating a sweet young chick-a-dee like Miss Timothy Buttons:

So, you know how Sid has…issues?  And you know how Sid likes to wear his confidence shirts as a means to combat those issues?

Like I need an excuse to post my favorite Sid pic.

Well, those shirts ain’t cheap.  We’ve found that American Apparel’s baby rib dog T’s have the best fit for his big ol’ pug chest, but they typically cost about $10 apiece.  That’s how much we paid for his awesome blue shirt in the photo above.  INSANE.

The white dog tees were once on sale at 3 for $21 on the American Apparel website, so we splurged and bought three of those, but after two years of heavy use, they’re pretty dingy looking and full of holes.

Anyway, last night I was walking around Manhattan, and I noticed that American Apparel was having a huge warehouse sale in an empty storefront on 6th Ave.  Brian was on his way into the city, so I sent him a text about it, and the next thing I know, the two of us are sitting on a cement floor digging through giant boxes of American Apparel dog shirts like frenzied maniacs, searching for size mediums.

THEY WERE THREE FOR THREE DOLLARS, PEOPLE!  THREE SHIRTS FOR THREE DOLLARS!!

I’m pretty sure Brian and I purchased the last remaining size mediums of the approximately 300 dog shirts that were hidden in a back corner of the store.  Out of all those shirts, there were only seven in Sid’s size:

To even out the purchase to a multiple of three (why not?), we grabbed two size smalls for a certain tiny puglet that hangs around the Pug Slope headquarters every now and then:

When we finally made our way to the registers with the nine shirts, our purchase rang up to NINE DOLLARS!  That’s $90 worth of confidence shirts for NINE DOLLARS!!!

And, of course, all this newfound confidence has gone straight to Sid’s head!

The past twenty-four hours have been so awesome that we have TWO exciting topics to explore in today’s post.

First up, Miss Timothy Buttons came over last night with her parents and her brand new red Sherpa travel bag.  Her bag is just like Sid’s, except it’s Timothy-sized.

Yes, the bags are slightly different sizes, but we humans are bozos sometimes, and as soon as Sid and Timothy got inside the bags, we forgot which pug was where.  It’s in situations like these that a pug’s obsessive love of treats comes in handy:

Next, Sid woke up to find this package under the Pug Slope fiber-optic Christmas tree!

At first he thought Santa Pug had visited, but then he read the return address and realized someone even more awesome than Santa sent him this package – PAYTON!!

Sid wanted to open the package as soon as possible, but first he begrudgingly posed for a photo.

Inside the package were two wrapped presents and a little card!  Sid impatiently posed for another photo before unwrapping the gifts.

Seriously, guys. 

OMG, Payton!  An APPLE!  With a WORM!!!

Payton, it’s almost as though you regularly read a blog about Sid or something and know that apples are his FAVORITE things EVER!!

The apple toy was such a home run that Sid didn’t even wait to open the second present before going into full-on apple attack mode.

Sid quickly figured out that the worm comes out of the apple!  It’s like a mini puzzle toy!! He’s loves puzzle toys!!

When Sid finally calmed down from playing with his new BEST TOY EVER, we unwrapped the second present – a tiny Cuz!!!

Sid hasn’t quite figured out how to play with the Cuz yet…perhaps we can get some great photos and video of the amazing Miss Payton teaching Sid how to Cuz it up WHEN THEY HANG OUT NEXT WEEK IN CHICAGO!!!

Sid told me to say thank you SO MUCH to Payton and her parents for such an awesome and thoughtful surprise, and he can’t WAIT to learn how to Cuz from the master!!

Last Sunday, Brian and I went to The Bell House in Brooklyn with Miss Timothy Buttons’ parents to see a live taping of the StarTalk podcast, hosted by our favorite astrophysicist, Neil DeGrasse Tyson.  Joining him on stage were three of our favorite comedians – Eugene Mirman, Kristen Schaal, and John Hodgman – and a REAL LIVE ASTRONAUT!!

John Hodgman, Kristen Schaal, Eugene Mirman, Astronaut Mike Massimino,                    and Neil deGrasse Tyson

The astronaut, Mike Massimino, got to WALK IN SPACE to fix the Hubble telescope.  That means he’s one of a handful of people EVER who’ve been able to LOOK AT EARTH WHILE THEY WERE FLOATING IN SPACE.  And he got to do it TWICE!

Now, Sid, obviously isn’t travelling all the way to the Hubble telescope for a space walk when we take flight on Friday, but considering that it’s probably just as hard for a pug to wrap its mind around simple air travel as it is for a human to wrap its mind around WALKING IN OUTER SPACE, we thought that maybe we should do some advanced aeronautical exercises to prepare Sid for his flight.

So, naturally, we signed Sid up for NASA.

His first training exercise was the “anti-gravity chamber.”  As you can see in the video below, he’s a natural when it comes to floating. And, as you can hear in the video below, zero-gravity makes him a wee bit gassy (listen when he shakes).